As you know, I workout a lot… every day. I fill your feeds up with all my workout stories and motivation, so I know this comes as no surprise to all of you.  

There are workouts where I’m fast, pushing my body way past its limits, where I endure and try and defy those limits, where I’m strong and lift, where I’m a hot sweaty mess, where I’m sore. Where I run and beat my impossible. Where the music is blasting and encouraging. Those are the workouts you normally see on my page. My husband lovingly calls these my “beast mode” exercises. 

Well today is not about one of those workouts. And it might surprise you but those workouts are not the most important ones I do. They aren’t the ones that brought the most change. 
Yes it’s true that I started working out solely because I wanted to lose the physical weight. I saw working out as a chore I HAD to do. The only change I wanted was the physical one, all the stuff the world saw. The 300 pounds, my plus size frame. And yes the beast mode exercises worked to lose all that…my muscles grew, my waistline shrunk. I shed the weight you all saw. 
But that’s just half of the story. Half my journey. In addition to the weight you could see, I’ve also been on a journey to lose the weight you can’t see… but I can FEEL.  

What I didn’t didn’t expect when I started was that working out would have even more effect over my emotional wellbeing than my physical. Somewhere along this journey I stopped working out because I had to and started to because I wanted to.

So in addition to the beast mode exercises there are workouts like this morning… where it’s just me and my feet just walking. Calm music quietly playing in my ears. No step goals, no power walking… just slow and calm. The only weight I carry is the weight of whatever I’m feeling that day. And yes sometimes that weight can be heavier than any dumbbell!! It’s just me and the stress that comes with being a mom, a wife, an attorney, a friend…just an adult. I just walk, burn off the “crazy”. I don’t even wear my classic headbands because I don’t even break a sweat. I just gear up for the day ahead. 

While the beast mode exercises sculpt my body these workouts sculpt… well me. My psyche, my well being. I just walk until I release whatever is on my mind, till I feel more centered. These workouts are making me a better me… my anxiety is a mere whisper instead of a loud scream like it used to be. I’m a happier, calmer, more confident Mandi. It helps me focus less on the drama of life and more about the peace. 

The results from this type of workout are even more noticeable to me than the beast mode ones. These results are the reason this lifestyle is permanent to me. I fear gaining that emotional weight back more than the physical. In fact when people tell me I “seem different” not “look different” those compliments are the ones I remember and love. See, the personal issues were so much harder to “fix” than the physical ones so it is so much more rewarding. Freeing myself from a lifetime of insecurities, negativity, all those things that weighed me down is the real success story of my journey. The one I’m most proud of. 

So if you follow me and your body is not ready to all those beast mode exercises… that’s ok. Just start by carrying your own baggage and just burn off your crazy. Just get out and walk. Remember, the first 75 pounds of my weight loss was achieved solely by these type of workouts (yeah I have a lot of crazy to burn off so I had a lot of walking to do). 

And that my friends is why I find time to workout everyday and you should too!


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